Sunday, July 31, 2016


That heaviness that settles in
when the waning days of summer arrive
was here
It lands deep in the pit of my stomach
It hangs in a thick layer in the air above my head
A fitting ending to a summer I choose to forget
A summer filled with tears
A summer consumed with fear
A summer immersed in uncertainty

Long, silent days filled with overthinking
A quiet house that screamed with loneliness, isolation, distress
Minutes filled with pointless efforts
Late nights filled with escapeism
pretended productivity
so much wasted time - lost now

I have held my breath for so long now, 
I scarcely remember how to inhale, relax, laugh
I am afraid - strong, enduring, resilient - but afraid

I swim through the heaviness to bed
pretending at gratitude
dreading the dawn

Quote of the day: Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.                  ~William Shakespeare